I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
