Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
