Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
