so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
