I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just pee around me
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
