hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
there was a trapeze. enough said
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize