we made out on top of his cat.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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