Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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