Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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