do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
