So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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