Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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