Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
