you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
