the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
