Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Someone came in the potted fern
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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