Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize