I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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