I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
