Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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