After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
