**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
