I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
