You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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