I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize