the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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