ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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