Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
