I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Randomize
