At least make sure they are 18
Why
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
