the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
