oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
