This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
