oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
