My sheets look like a crime scene.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize