shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize