I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
