he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
