i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
