if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Walk of Shame today included voting.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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