she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
