No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
