so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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