Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
