then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
