Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
