If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Too much gin, very little bucket
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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