But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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