Whod you bang
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
