I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So much Jack, so little girl.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
