I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize