We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
