i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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