you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
