I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
