I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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