the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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