Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
