I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
