dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize