dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
