i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
