Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
