Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
