I looked at my own cervix.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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