I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
