i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
