a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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