Ketchup is God's man juice
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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