I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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