When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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