Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
