Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
