I'm going to jail i love you
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
