I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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