he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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