Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
