Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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