Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You pole danced in your parka.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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