Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
