i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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