So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
