Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
