i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
