Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
